Cancer Free!

Again, this is my journaling and so I am putting personal information here..VERY OPEN...but I need to record it. I am already starting to forget some things... November 9th (Night of Nov 8th): What a night. I decided to take a sleeping pill to help me so I would not be up all night stressing over things I had no control over. I took the first of my two showers that I need to sanitize for surgery. Pack a change of clothes and my toothbrush and hairbrush and go to bed. I had set my alarm to get me up at 4am but for some reason it didn't go off. Jeff being a light sleeper, woke me up at 4:15 saying we need to leave soon. I think Heavenly Father helped me to sleep and not wake up too early so I didn't have time to piddle around. I took my second sanitizing shower, blow dried my hair, brushed my teeth and we were out the door. My check in time is 5:00 am. On the second floor we are met by my nurse for pre-op. I get to change into my stylish gown and start all the IV stuff. First poke..Oooppps..sorry...lets try again. (That will leave a bruise..)OK, IV is in. Jeff and I are doing our "entertain ourselves" routine which of course has us laughing. Nurses from the other side of the floor come over to see what the giggles are all about. We are told we made her morning. 8:00 I am headed to the operating room. Very nervous. I had to wait out side of the room for awhile since the room is not set up for me yet. I had a nice conversation with nurses (male) outside while waiting. They are surprised I am so calm. If only they knew what prayers I was saying in my heart for how scared I was. I am finally wheeled in, I move over to the operating table which is not very wide. It is ok since I will be on my side for the surgery. I am given my knock out juice and I am gone!!! Next thing I remember is (with the help of Jeff) being moved (back in my original bed)in the elevator and having two nurses that had no idea how to steer this thing. I was in and out, but knew I had a lot of pain in my side. I was given my own room this time! Hurray! And in a perfect spot on the floor. A back corner! I am so nauseous! I just do not do well with coming out of the anesthesia. They give me morphine that I can administer my self which I just get more nauseous every time I push the button. They try to get me to eat some beef broth which just makes me throw up. It is hard to breath and now try to throw up?! Not a good combo. I notice Jeff keeps dozing in the chair next to me which is not a very comfy chair. Poor man has been up since 4am. It is now 10:30 pm. I send him home. Nothing he can do for me, as much as I LOVE having him there, I need him rested. I need to go to the bathroom, kind of...not sure..think I should try it. I call the nurse (turns out to be a male nurse but at this time I just don't care..Oh, and I am on my period!) He helps me into the bath room with a walker with my chest tube contraption hanging on the front of the walker. Found out..Yes, needed to pee, yes they must have cathed me because it BURNS to pee, and yes I am covered in blood and need to change my pad and bedding. Great Start!!! Not to mention that it is so hard to breath and bending over HURTS! Trying to wipe myself and clean myself up is a huge challenge. I didn't do it very well. Because of my mastectomy with lymph nodes removed on my right side, I can only have the IV and blood work done on my left side. Blood pressure is taken on my legs. So, left side has two IV ports and lots of pokes from blood removal. Right side has chest tube and new incision from surgery and since the muscles were cut it is hard to lift my arm or even move it. Can't bend over. Legs are shaky. CAN'T BREATH! Even hard to talk. Now back up a bit. The bed I was in for pre-op is the bed I am in now. It is pretty fancy smanshy. BIG, bulky with all kinds of bells and whistles. Instead of putting leg cuffs on you to keep from getting blood clots, the whole bed mattress is inflating and compressing, all the time..all night long...all day long..always!!!! It can also take my weight. Well, it doesn't TAKE my weight (I wish!) but it can weigh me. But the nurse has to take all my pillows and lay me flat to do it. Not such a good thing.. Ok, so all night I have trouble sleeping. I doze for a minute, then someone comes and takes my blood pressure, pulse and temperature. I doze for about an hour and lab comes in to take my blood. 3 hours later lab comes in to take a chest ex-ray (yep, in bed..again they have taken my pillows! RUDE) Doze for a bit and then about 7am I have blood pressure, pulse and temperature taken again. Breakfast is coming so we have to get up in the chair. The doctor does not allow his patience to eat in bed. Its a good rule. I am on a liquid diet for breakfast. Chicken broth, Jello, herb tea. I ate the Jello. I am loving the ice they have and I can have all I want. Which is good cause I go through it! Jeff comes about 9:00 and we are out for our first walk. I have a FLAMING Red Walker! (with a chest tube contraption on the front) I am a vision of loveliness! I make it one lap around the floor and I am done. Back in bed, ready for pain killers. I doze for a bit. Now everything kind of blends together. It is all the same thing...poke,prod,pee,and can you poop? (Done with that question! But you can't leave until you poop!) I have two nurses that just make the time fun. One is in training with a lead nurse over them. I have Cindy who is the lead nurse with Ryan who is the nurse in training. They are SO fun, but you only get them for 12 hours. My friends gave me a camo hospital gown! LOVE IT! I wore it all over that place! Well, with the loss of a lobe of the lung, you get a prize of a cough. The best part is, it is hard to take a good breath to cough and the cough hurts the lung and the surgery side like nothing else. You are told to hold a pillow to your side and squeeze while you cough..it helps but only a little. Tuesday night I finally get my chest tube out. The only way to do it...cut the stitches holding it in, get a good grip and pull! I had a bit(and I mean a bit) of a clue with what it might feel like from how it felt when I got my drain tubes out from the mastectomy. But those were 1/3rd the size maybe of the chest tube. Yep, it hurts! Bad! Now have to wait to see how I do over night to see if I can go home. That night was a hard one. I just couldn't take the bed anymore. I unplugged it. I found out that when you unplug it, all the air goes out of it and it totally deflates and you feel every bar, wire, and what ever else is under that pad. I put up with that for about 2 hours and then plugged it back in. I asked for pain meds since I could not sleep and the cough was not giving up. I had just fallen asleep when lab came in for more blood. Then when I FINALLY start to doze..ex-ray...I gave up. I just won't sleep in this place. Wednesday...LONG DAY OF WAITING. I so wanted to go home. My blood pressure (taken in my legs mind you) is 158/130. Everyone is worried and start me on meds for high blood pressure. I have a bladder infection and start on antibiotics. My throat has a weird tickle that makes me cough..not that I wasn't doing a cough already..and Pretty COLORS! . We are finally released about 8:00, but need to run to Target before it closes to get prescriptions filled. They have new script pages and the doctors don't seem to know that they need to put a little number at the bottom or the pharmacy won't fill it. So two of the drugs I needed for pain and sleep I can't have. Oh Well. I know I have Nyquil waiting for me at home. Klaira makes me some mac and cheese that taste SO GOOD! Yes, I said it. I have found out that surgery also messes up your taste buds. Food has been awful. Salty foods taste good, but with the "high blood pressure" I am not to have salt. I drug up and snuggle in on my couch which has a built in recliner. Now this tickle in the back of my throat is REALLY annoying! It makes me cough. It hurts to cough. I do a little sound, hum, that sometimes helps. Jeff can hear it all night upstairs in his bed. He knows I am home! I sleep some, well, more than I did in the hospital, but not much. Jeff gets me up and in the shower to start the day. THE BEST SHOWER EVER! 5 days of no showers is not something I recommend. I was gross! It is amazing how much a shower helps. We are off and running for the day! I did better than I thought I would. I thought I would have a good night sleep..I was wrong. Really bad night. My arms kept falling asleep and my butt was just done! Trying to find a way to be propped up and comfortable is not an easy thing. When I got up this morning the swelling on my right side has swelled up to the size of a tennis ball. The pain is more intense and the stiches from the drain tube hurts. Now I like to think I am a tough gal, but I hurt. I am a bit worried about the swelling so I call my doctor's office. Yep, I'm a ninny. Nothing like feeling I have just wasted people's time. All that I am feeling is normal if not expected. "And this cough you have, why do you have it?" asked the nurse. She thinks it is allergies, I think it is a cold. SO, with all this adventure, what did we find out. I guess the tumor had been there for a long time. The lobe was shriveled up which didn't show up on ex-rays. They took the lobe and a section of airway above and below it and attached the lower lobe to the upper. They removed 3 lymph nodes and ALL of the nodes and the section above and below show...Drum roll please...NO CANCER! The cancer was contained to the tumor covering the air way. I have an appointment with the oncologist in January. We are expecting that I will not need any chemo or radiation. The oncologist may want to do chemo just to make sure, but for today, at this moment I am holding on to I AM CANCER FREE!