July 23-28

This is going to be hard to remember everything that happened this week since I think I have slept through most of it. July 23rd:This was a hard day. I had to surrender my cats to the SPCA. I know I just won't be able to take care of the two cats while I am going through everything. Keeping up with cat hair alone is a big job. I LOVED these cats, but I wanted them to go to home that would be able to take care of them they way they should be taken care of. Well, my little girl cat was not going in the carrier for ANYTHING! She and I had a "CAT FIGHT". I got scratched up pretty bad, even on my eye so it looks like I was in a bad fight and lost. After we surrendered the cats I had to head over to the hospital for lab work. Hurry up, wait...We talked to a lady about what proceedure I was having and what would be happeneing and where to go in the morning. Then I had blood work and urine testing AGAIN. Still not pregnant! Ok, arrival time for tomorrow..6 am. Then I got a bag with lots of paperwork and a parking pass for tomorrow, and some special soap to wash with 2 times before I go in. I have had great text and emails from friends and love ones. I finally had to turn my phone off because a few of the text were starting to give me panic attacks. I appreciate all of them, just needed to focus on myself. July 24: I didn't sleep very well. We that can be expected. I got up and showered for the second time (night before first scrub)with the special soap. Put comfy clothes on that won't be on long, packed a small bag with go home clothes and a blanket and headed to the hospital. All checked in..Hurry and wait....got called back to get into my hospital clothes..hurry up and wait...start IV..that took 2 tries..(And yes I was hydrated..I had been drinking tons of water the day before..yuck!) Then a long wait..off to Radiology. The tech was so cute and so helpful explaining everything that was happening. The doctor sanitized my breast and then with a very small needle with a big metal covering that came from a metal box, injected me 4 times around the areloa with radio-active stuff. IT HURT..it stings when it is going in. Once in it doesn't hurt any more. I have to massage it for 10 minutes. We are wanting it to travel to the surrounding lymph nodes. This will tell us where the cancer may have spread. I am placed under a huge metal disk and on a screen you can see where all the radio-active material is under the skin. Very COOL! Several pictures are taken from different angles and then I am marked on the skin where the lymph nodes are under the skin. Back up to waiting room...where you wait...and wait..and..oh..here come the anesthesiologist. His names if Pharis. A beautiful black man with a great english sounding accent. Oh, and he is LDS. He is from SLC down here doing training. We talked about how last time I was under (2 weeks ago) I didn't do well when I woke up since I was supper nauseous and had a headache and was agitated. He said not a problem and he would take care of that. They gave me the "I just don't care what you do to me" juice, I kissed my sweetheart goodby and off to the operating room. I started getting loopy, not as fast as last time and actually made it to the table and scooted over and layed down before I was out. Then it is a blur for awhile after that. Of course I was out for several hours during the surgery. I do remember being in a dark room, feeling really nauseous again and super agitated. The nausea was worse than the time before. Jeff did a great job holding on to me and spent HOURS fanning me. It was so hot in that room. The nurse told Jeff twice that it was after visiting hours and that he HAD to leave. He was not visiting me, he was helping me! I was really mad at her. She was not in the room helping, so why kick out the one who is?!?!?! It was about 1:30 in the morning when they got ahold of a doctor that would change the medication that was making me so sick. Finally about 2am I started feeling a little bit better. I had these "massaging" things on my legs that keep you from getting blood clots in the legs..these alternate and are supper annoying! I have two tubes (one on either side of my chest) coming out of me, I am in a tight fitting "bra" if you can call it that, with a bunch of stuffing. I only have one pillow on my bed. I have started my cycle and the cramps hurt more than my surgery area. I am sharing the room with a lady who is NOT happy. People are in and out ALL NIGHT LONG making sure we are both doing ok. Taking blood pressure and temp, checking to see if we have gone to the bathroom (I pee dark blue for two days! SO COOL!)They decided that this was the perfect time to polish the floors out side my door which takes all night. I have a surgeon I have never seen before come in about 4:30 to check on me and see how I am doing since I have refused all pain meds. I don't like how I am feeling on all the drugs. I am over tired and just want to go home so I can sleep. The nurse finally finds me two more pillows to try to get more comfortable. Well that didn't happen. Then about 8ish the rounds start. It is a learning hospital. I have two different doctors come in and talk to me at different times, then the whole intern team comes in. They all look so serious! Now you know I can't keep things serious! I start cracking jokes..The surgeon wants to look at my stiches to see how the tubes are holding in and how the rest of me is doing so as she is undoing my "bra" she made a comment on how she was sad for me it was not very flashy. I told her not to worry, when I get home I am going to badazzle it and put tassles on it! She cracks up and some of the interns where a few of the interns look to see if it is ok to laugh or not..so funny to see their expressions. Finally breakfast comes about 9:00..not very good..Jeff shows up! HURRAY!!!!! Doc comes back in about 11:30 and asks if I am feeling ok, do I need drugs..I just want to go home. Since I am showing that I can eat and keep stuff down, I can head home. I am released about 1:30ish 2:00 with instructions on how to take care of the drains and what meds to take when I get home. The phamacy has been sent my list and it should be ready for me when I get there. I get dressed but forgot to grab my hat before Jeff takes all my stuff to the truck. Man, can I rock the hospital look! Hair everywhere, black eye from my "Catfight", holes all over from the IV's and a big baggie shirt to cover all the fun on my chest. Jeff gets me home and I find that my friend had decorated my front yard and door. I had pin wheels in the grass, a big sign across the front saying "IT's A GIRL!" with all pink stuff on the door with ballons and goodie bag and lots of stars and hearts up the walkway. I just stood there and cried! It was so cool! I enjoy just being home for about an hour and then I crashed! I slept for almost 2 hours! It felt so good to sleep but it is hard to get comfortable. I am a side sleeper and I have to sleep propped up with ALL the pillows around me and a pillow under my legs. When I wake up I feel drained! Jeff has been joking about instead of poking and prodding me, just hit me with a stick like a pinata and see what falls out. Well someone sure did hit me with a big stick! The rest of the day goes really fast. I have friends come and visit so they can see how I am and not just believe my text that I am ok. I am able to sleep all night really hard. Jeff was out too! July 26: I am up and moving. I feel tired but good, just a little sore. I acutally do the dishes, clean up the kitchen and start laundry. I get to take a shower today for the first time. It is so weird to look at my chest. It is concave with stiches and tape across them. My left side has stiches also from where they took the lymph nodes and it is supper swollen. The drains are weird how the tubes just come right out of the skin but has stiches to hold them in. The tubes have a weird bulb at the end that collects all the gunk. The shower feels so good but it is hard to lift my arms above my head to shampoo my hair. Where the water hits my surgery area stings a bit, but to be clean feels so good. It takes me about 45 minutes to shower and get myself all bundled back up. I am so tired after. I have sweet friends stop by and see me and bring COOKIES! YES! Jeff gets some movies from Red Box..it feels good to be home! July 27: I am more sore today than yesterday. My left hand is swollen and the drains ache. I am still so tired. I am able to get up and make breakfast, and get laundry going again. I shower again and it feels better this time. I do more laundry and then...Jeff has to do a move in inspection so I get to go with him! I am so happy to get out of the house. I am going stir crazy! We were gone about 1 hour and it wiped me out. I came home and slept almost 2 hours. I finished up laundry (no I didn't lift the baskets, I had Jeff carry everything upstairs) and did some more dishes. I am not supppose to be lifting anything but it is so hard to hold still! I had a dear friend bring us dinner and enjoyed a visit with her. I got to talk to Colt on the phone..he is still out of town and won't be back till the end of the week. Then more friends come over, and then end the night with my "Angel" coming to check on me again. She checks my drains and gives me the thumbs up that I am healing really well. I guess you actually get worse before you get better. I am feeling really tired and sore and was getting upset thinking I wasn't getting better. July 28: It was a bad night. I kept waking up not feeling good, it was too hot, I hurt, was sleeping on the tubes, my arm fell asleep...just a yucky night. Jeff made breakfast and another sweet friend showed up with more goodies! I thought about going to church today, but the last thing I need is to catch a bug that may be going around, not to mention it is hard to hide the drains. I hate missing church. I know I have to hold still and heal so I can go next week. BLAH! I am looking forward to my doctor appointment tomorrow. I will be able to get out of the house again! But I have the feeling it is going to wear me out. I will try and update tomorrow after my appointment!