Lung Cancer-Carcinoid

I have been learning SOOO much the past several months. The interesting thing is that my incrediable body has been fighting junk inside of me for a VERY long time and I never knew it. When I had endometriosis inside of me attacking my uterus and ovaries and intestines I felt it! It HURT! When I had Paget's, I felt it! IT ITCHED! When I had MRSA, I felt it! Again, it HURT! But now pictures of inside of me say I have a carcinoid in my lung. I don't feel it. I think somehow the doctors got me switched with someone else. I have been doing some reading and some symptoms that I have had for years, like IBS, can actually be caused by the carcinoid. Being tired all the time can be caused by the carcinoid. WHO KNEW? Well, now I do. So today I met with the lung surgeon. I know this is what he does every day, but to me it is all new. I don't know what questions to ask. But what I do ask, he is happy to answer. Most of it is, "We will have to wait and see when we get inside of you." I have tried to add a picture of lungs and where the carcinoid is and for some reason I just can't seem to get the picture to attach. So we have 3 lobes on the right side and two lobes on the left. On my right side, the middle lobe, in the airway INTO the middle lobe is my carcinoid. It is completely covering the hole. How I am getting air into that lobe is a mystery. So the doctor will go in through my side, spread my ribs and take out my middle lobe and HOPEFULLY will be able to connect my lower lobe to the upper lobe so I only loose one lobe. Lucky for me, the middle lobe only produces about 10% of my air so I really should not even miss it.(So says the doctor..) We have to ask my insurance (Medi-Cal) if I can have the surgery and where may I have it. Then we will decide WHEN to have it. (hurry up and wait) One out of eight women will get breast cancer in their life. One in a million women will get carcinoid syndrome. I am one out of eight and one out of a million. Have you ever been on the roller coaster at the Disney "California" park? You sit in the seat with the harness holding you into the seat and you are put at the start of the ride and have a count down..10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 and you take off SO fast. Your insides all squeeze together, your tummy gets TIGHT and you get tossed all over. If you keep yourself tight, you really get beat up. If you somehow relax your middle, it is a really fun ride. I figured out about the 4th time on it that if I don't tense up and just relax, the ride is SOOOO fun and I truly enjoy it. (Before it was fun but I felt banged up.) I say this because so many times during this past year, I have felt myself "Tense" up with all that is happening to me. I can get myself really worked up, or I can "Relax" and go with the ride. I am not trying to say that this is fun in any way, but I am finding that I am not freaking out. I trust my Heavenly Father. He is allowing me to go through this process for a reason. I don't know if I will be helping someone in the future with the same problems, or if I need to learn from this experience to help myself with my own problems. Heavenly Father has given each of us skills, or talents, or gifts (what ever you want to call them). It is up to us to find them. I firmly believe in the skills, talents, gifts that my surgeons have been given and have worked to develop. Now I ask that Heavenly Father guide their hands while using these skills, talents, gifts, to help me in my journey.

Gifts from Heaven

I don't have any updates yet, I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday so I know I will have something then to share... Today my heart is full of gratitude! The love that has been outpouring to me is just beyond words. I have my close friends that have given me gifts to help with my healing..a soft special pillow for my arm, my door decorated with fun pink things, a wonderful CD with uplifting music,really fun cards, a perfect hospital gown (ITS CAMO!!!!)a pretty bracelet, not to mention the food! YUM! But I am just amazed at the prayers on my behalf. I have had my name on the prayer rolls of more than 5 temples (Even in Japan! Thank you Linda!), people from work have prayed for me, people in my ward have prayed for me, and then today...I got a BEAUTIFUL short but so touching, letter from a Methodist church group in Texas signed by over 20 people that don't know me that are praying for me. I know prayers work! I feel them holding me up! I am so THANK-FULL for all the love! I am BLESSED!

September 3rd

Sometimes it feels like this is all old news now and there are better things to talk about. Then I find out someone JUST found out about what I am going through and want to ask all kinds of questions...I am fine talking about it but this is really weird since I don't usually talk that much about myself. I normally don't seek the spot light. It really is ok to talk about other things..ummm...the problem is that not much else is going on since I am busy with doctor appointments or test..blah! So, PLEASE feel free to talk about what is happening in your world! Ok, well...So...a few weeks ago I got a phone call from the clinic I went to when I was diagnosed. They want me to come in for a follow up appointment. That is really weird since I thought I had been handed off to the surgery center. Not much the clinic can do for me. Ok, I will come in and do a follow up. It is on a Saturday which is crazy, but ok. So I drive DOWN (it takes about 20-25 minutes depending on traffic) to the clinic. This is the conversation that I have with the girl at the front desk. Girl: Can I help you? Me: Hi, I have a 11:15 appointment with ________. Girl:___________ isn't in today. Me: Then why do I have an appointment? Girl:Well, _________ has several appointments set up for today but we cancelled them. Me:I didn't get a call to tell me that the appointment was cancelled. Girl:We don't call you, we just clear them out of the computer. At this point I just say Wow,Thanks...and walk out. So..Their office calls me for an appointment that I don't need but then doesn't let me know they really don't want me to come in..Makes sense to me! In one way, it made me giggle..because I know ________ did not set up the appointments. The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. Ok, so today I had my first appointment with Oncology. I am learning all kinds of terminology. There are so many big medical words to describe something as simple as cancer and how to take care of it. After much discussion, everything that I learned today.. 1. The decision Jeff and I made about having a double mastectomy was a really smart decision. I am HER2 receptive, which means to me that if I had left the other breast, the chances of the cancer coming back were pretty good and I would have had to have treatment to lessen my chances. Because I removed both, the chances are gone and no treatment is needed!Blessings! 2. The lung carcinoid is SOOO slow growing and is not evasive, so nothing needs to be done before the surgery to it! Blessings! 3. No other cancer was found! BLESSINGS! I did have to have more blood test done today, but I am on the path to being a pro at it! So next week I meet with the lung doctor and we should have a plan as to how to remove the carcinoid and when..Hurry up and wait... Today was a good day!