July 29

So I was told this morning that I am not sharing enough about how/how not painful all of what is happening to me is. Again, this may be too much TMI, but this is more for my journaling than anything else. I have been on my cycle during all of this and at first my cycle was more painful than my chest. I have only taken Tylenol for cramps and headaches and for two nights I took a muscle relaxer that was prescribed by the doctor. I have been really sore, but if I just hold still and get destracted, I really don't feel my chest. When I move, then I feel it. I have been wearing this "Bra" if you can call it that, it has several hooks in the front and wraps me from under my arm pits to almost my belly button. What hurts wearing it is the tubes I have for draining are stiched in and the pressure of the "Bra" on them really hurt. If I move fast or try to lift something too heavy, I feel pain. I can lift my hands over my head but my right side is still really swollen. Every day I feel different. Today I feel like something is sitting on my chest. I am almost numb feeling but then to the side of over feeling. It is hard to describe. At my doctor's appointment today, the doctor took out one of my drains. IT HURT coming out, but she was great to do the "rip it out as fast as you can" move. Now it is just really sensitive but feels so much better! I find that I am healing in one spot, only to find a new spot that I didn't realize hurt till now. But I find that I don't need meds for it. It is all do-able. I can't relax my right arm all the way down because of the swelling. I have stiches just down from my arm pit that is almost the whole side of me. I have stiches about 6 inches in length on both sides where my breast used to be. I have two small holes on my sides where the drain tubes are and stiches to hold them in. (Well, now I just have a drain on the right side with stiches, the left side is just taped up now.) I was told I can now take off the "Bra" but be careful with the drain tube. Now I feel really weird not having any stuffing. I just have tape on my stiches. It feels over sensitive having my shirt rub on my skin with no padding. I know that nerves are slowly going to be growing back and I will not feel numb/over sensitive for too long. ON to my appointment... Well...the surgery went great and THEY FOUND NO CANCER IN THE LYMPH NODES! WHAT? No cancer in the lymph nodes. Amazing! Now the doctor's first thought was that I probably will not need chemo for the breast cancer. She thinks we got it all. But I will probably need another treatment that is similar, but does not have as strong of a side effect as the chemo. BUT....that is not to say I won't need it for the lung cancer. Chemo will not effect the lung cancer right now because it is too slow growing. Chemo effects fast growing cells. Next Monday I have an appointment to go into the clinic to have the other drain tube removed. Then I will see my doctor again two weeks from then. I am waiting now to hear from the Pulmonary doctors and the Oncologist to see what they would like to do next. I have set up for August 19-22 to do testing to see if I have any other cancer lurking inside. It will be a tough week with all the testing but I am hoping that I will have healed enough that my chest will not bother me. I know that prayer works!!! I love all the text, cards, emails of love and support! This is an emotional rollercoaster! I AM BLESSED!

July 23-28

This is going to be hard to remember everything that happened this week since I think I have slept through most of it. July 23rd:This was a hard day. I had to surrender my cats to the SPCA. I know I just won't be able to take care of the two cats while I am going through everything. Keeping up with cat hair alone is a big job. I LOVED these cats, but I wanted them to go to home that would be able to take care of them they way they should be taken care of. Well, my little girl cat was not going in the carrier for ANYTHING! She and I had a "CAT FIGHT". I got scratched up pretty bad, even on my eye so it looks like I was in a bad fight and lost. After we surrendered the cats I had to head over to the hospital for lab work. Hurry up, wait...We talked to a lady about what proceedure I was having and what would be happeneing and where to go in the morning. Then I had blood work and urine testing AGAIN. Still not pregnant! Ok, arrival time for tomorrow..6 am. Then I got a bag with lots of paperwork and a parking pass for tomorrow, and some special soap to wash with 2 times before I go in. I have had great text and emails from friends and love ones. I finally had to turn my phone off because a few of the text were starting to give me panic attacks. I appreciate all of them, just needed to focus on myself. July 24: I didn't sleep very well. We that can be expected. I got up and showered for the second time (night before first scrub)with the special soap. Put comfy clothes on that won't be on long, packed a small bag with go home clothes and a blanket and headed to the hospital. All checked in..Hurry and wait....got called back to get into my hospital clothes..hurry up and wait...start IV..that took 2 tries..(And yes I was hydrated..I had been drinking tons of water the day before..yuck!) Then a long wait..off to Radiology. The tech was so cute and so helpful explaining everything that was happening. The doctor sanitized my breast and then with a very small needle with a big metal covering that came from a metal box, injected me 4 times around the areloa with radio-active stuff. IT HURT..it stings when it is going in. Once in it doesn't hurt any more. I have to massage it for 10 minutes. We are wanting it to travel to the surrounding lymph nodes. This will tell us where the cancer may have spread. I am placed under a huge metal disk and on a screen you can see where all the radio-active material is under the skin. Very COOL! Several pictures are taken from different angles and then I am marked on the skin where the lymph nodes are under the skin. Back up to waiting room...where you wait...and wait..and..oh..here come the anesthesiologist. His names if Pharis. A beautiful black man with a great english sounding accent. Oh, and he is LDS. He is from SLC down here doing training. We talked about how last time I was under (2 weeks ago) I didn't do well when I woke up since I was supper nauseous and had a headache and was agitated. He said not a problem and he would take care of that. They gave me the "I just don't care what you do to me" juice, I kissed my sweetheart goodby and off to the operating room. I started getting loopy, not as fast as last time and actually made it to the table and scooted over and layed down before I was out. Then it is a blur for awhile after that. Of course I was out for several hours during the surgery. I do remember being in a dark room, feeling really nauseous again and super agitated. The nausea was worse than the time before. Jeff did a great job holding on to me and spent HOURS fanning me. It was so hot in that room. The nurse told Jeff twice that it was after visiting hours and that he HAD to leave. He was not visiting me, he was helping me! I was really mad at her. She was not in the room helping, so why kick out the one who is?!?!?! It was about 1:30 in the morning when they got ahold of a doctor that would change the medication that was making me so sick. Finally about 2am I started feeling a little bit better. I had these "massaging" things on my legs that keep you from getting blood clots in the legs..these alternate and are supper annoying! I have two tubes (one on either side of my chest) coming out of me, I am in a tight fitting "bra" if you can call it that, with a bunch of stuffing. I only have one pillow on my bed. I have started my cycle and the cramps hurt more than my surgery area. I am sharing the room with a lady who is NOT happy. People are in and out ALL NIGHT LONG making sure we are both doing ok. Taking blood pressure and temp, checking to see if we have gone to the bathroom (I pee dark blue for two days! SO COOL!)They decided that this was the perfect time to polish the floors out side my door which takes all night. I have a surgeon I have never seen before come in about 4:30 to check on me and see how I am doing since I have refused all pain meds. I don't like how I am feeling on all the drugs. I am over tired and just want to go home so I can sleep. The nurse finally finds me two more pillows to try to get more comfortable. Well that didn't happen. Then about 8ish the rounds start. It is a learning hospital. I have two different doctors come in and talk to me at different times, then the whole intern team comes in. They all look so serious! Now you know I can't keep things serious! I start cracking jokes..The surgeon wants to look at my stiches to see how the tubes are holding in and how the rest of me is doing so as she is undoing my "bra" she made a comment on how she was sad for me it was not very flashy. I told her not to worry, when I get home I am going to badazzle it and put tassles on it! She cracks up and some of the interns where a few of the interns look to see if it is ok to laugh or not..so funny to see their expressions. Finally breakfast comes about 9:00..not very good..Jeff shows up! HURRAY!!!!! Doc comes back in about 11:30 and asks if I am feeling ok, do I need drugs..I just want to go home. Since I am showing that I can eat and keep stuff down, I can head home. I am released about 1:30ish 2:00 with instructions on how to take care of the drains and what meds to take when I get home. The phamacy has been sent my list and it should be ready for me when I get there. I get dressed but forgot to grab my hat before Jeff takes all my stuff to the truck. Man, can I rock the hospital look! Hair everywhere, black eye from my "Catfight", holes all over from the IV's and a big baggie shirt to cover all the fun on my chest. Jeff gets me home and I find that my friend had decorated my front yard and door. I had pin wheels in the grass, a big sign across the front saying "IT's A GIRL!" with all pink stuff on the door with ballons and goodie bag and lots of stars and hearts up the walkway. I just stood there and cried! It was so cool! I enjoy just being home for about an hour and then I crashed! I slept for almost 2 hours! It felt so good to sleep but it is hard to get comfortable. I am a side sleeper and I have to sleep propped up with ALL the pillows around me and a pillow under my legs. When I wake up I feel drained! Jeff has been joking about instead of poking and prodding me, just hit me with a stick like a pinata and see what falls out. Well someone sure did hit me with a big stick! The rest of the day goes really fast. I have friends come and visit so they can see how I am and not just believe my text that I am ok. I am able to sleep all night really hard. Jeff was out too! July 26: I am up and moving. I feel tired but good, just a little sore. I acutally do the dishes, clean up the kitchen and start laundry. I get to take a shower today for the first time. It is so weird to look at my chest. It is concave with stiches and tape across them. My left side has stiches also from where they took the lymph nodes and it is supper swollen. The drains are weird how the tubes just come right out of the skin but has stiches to hold them in. The tubes have a weird bulb at the end that collects all the gunk. The shower feels so good but it is hard to lift my arms above my head to shampoo my hair. Where the water hits my surgery area stings a bit, but to be clean feels so good. It takes me about 45 minutes to shower and get myself all bundled back up. I am so tired after. I have sweet friends stop by and see me and bring COOKIES! YES! Jeff gets some movies from Red Box..it feels good to be home! July 27: I am more sore today than yesterday. My left hand is swollen and the drains ache. I am still so tired. I am able to get up and make breakfast, and get laundry going again. I shower again and it feels better this time. I do more laundry and then...Jeff has to do a move in inspection so I get to go with him! I am so happy to get out of the house. I am going stir crazy! We were gone about 1 hour and it wiped me out. I came home and slept almost 2 hours. I finished up laundry (no I didn't lift the baskets, I had Jeff carry everything upstairs) and did some more dishes. I am not supppose to be lifting anything but it is so hard to hold still! I had a dear friend bring us dinner and enjoyed a visit with her. I got to talk to Colt on the phone..he is still out of town and won't be back till the end of the week. Then more friends come over, and then end the night with my "Angel" coming to check on me again. She checks my drains and gives me the thumbs up that I am healing really well. I guess you actually get worse before you get better. I am feeling really tired and sore and was getting upset thinking I wasn't getting better. July 28: It was a bad night. I kept waking up not feeling good, it was too hot, I hurt, was sleeping on the tubes, my arm fell asleep...just a yucky night. Jeff made breakfast and another sweet friend showed up with more goodies! I thought about going to church today, but the last thing I need is to catch a bug that may be going around, not to mention it is hard to hide the drains. I hate missing church. I know I have to hold still and heal so I can go next week. BLAH! I am looking forward to my doctor appointment tomorrow. I will be able to get out of the house again! But I have the feeling it is going to wear me out. I will try and update tomorrow after my appointment!

July 22

It has been another long day. I had expected to post earlier but life happened. So this morning I had a early appointment with the Women's center to get the results of my uterus biopsy that I had two weeks ago. It came back negative. I was not surprised. (But then my "Angel" told me last week the results.) Then I had several other doctors come in and talk to me about options for a uterus oblation. We got the dates all set up and the test that need to be done before the oblation all set up. That was a long morning of talking and waiting. Then I raced home, had an early lunch with my sweetheart and then off to my next appointment. I met with the surgeon for the breast surgery and I was expecting to set up the surgery for in about 3 weeks to a month. From discussions with her in the past, it was looking more to the end of August. When we acutually talked to her today, we found out she has me on the schedual for this Wednesday. WHAT?!?!?! WO! (She was surprised that no one had called me..)She is super busy in August and didn't want to wait..plus with the lung cancer still looming, it was better to get mine done sooner. The ONLY problem is that she does not have a plastic surgeon right now. So no reconstruction now. I am a little bummed but we have so many things that need attention right now, boobs will just have to wait. (Thats a familiar story..wait to get them off, wait to get them back on...OH WELL..)Then the realization that "OH, THE OTHER DOCTOR THIS MORNING WANTS TO DO THE OBLATION NEXT WEEK.." Well that will just have to wait now. Since the oblation is not dealing with anything that is screeming at me (well, it is but it can wait) it is going to have to be moved down on the prioriy list. Dang, since that has been BOTHERING ME THE LONGEST! Funny how that is. So now I need to call that office in the morning and cancel all those appointments. Tomorrow I probably have to go in for a bunch of blood test and other test before Wednesday's adventure. I am a little nervous. I don't like pain. I don't do it well. It will be weird to not have my boobs anymore. But I am happy that the ITCH will finally be gone. Hurray! I once saw a quote, but not sure who said it, that said, "A scar is proof that you are tougher than what is trying to hurt you!" Wednesday, I will have a scar to be proud of! The past few weeks I have had the most WONDERFUL cards and text and emails of love and support. I can not begin to explain the love that I am feeling. I didn't realize how many people have been dealing with their own "Scars". I even have a card all the way from Japan where a dear friend and her husband are serving a mission! I feel all the prayers for me and it touches me so deeply! I have my name in several temples with many people that don't even know me, praying for me. I am in awe! No, very humbled! I will post more hopefully at the end of the week. (If I am able to lift my hands!!) Maybe I will have Jeff post..I really do need to hear things from his side..I love several of the things he has said the past few weeks! He takes such good care of me! He is my prince charming! My everything! I am SO blessed to have him as my husband!

July 15-21

It has been a busy week. So last I posted, on the 15th I had a full day of doctors. Monday night Jeff and I took off to Sacramento area to work on a house that needed tile work and a few other projects. We got up there, bought some of the materials and headed to the house. We were late getting away from our house since we were later than we had thought we would be with doctor appointments. We were beat. Jeff worked on one of the projects for the house and then we crashed. In the morning we got up and moving, starting on projects, when we found out painters were still working on the house. People were in and out. We had forgotten a few things from home so we packed up and headed back..that is one stinkin long truck ride! We we got home and I got a phone call from the pulmonary nurse. They want me to go in for a breathing test tomorrow. So glad we had come home so I could do the test. July 17th: Head to the hospital for breathing test. Now I had done a breathing test years ago at a allergy office and I thought it would be something like that..nope. First I had blood drawn. Not the usually place on the arm. This was the first time I had blood drawn from an artery in my wrist. Oopps..my blood pressure is too low. I have to drink a bottle of water..(I don't like water..) The lady doing the testing and the blood draw is amazing. She has to draw the blood by feeling where my heartbeat is. She has to so carefully insert the needle being careful not to go in to far. She is so careful and so gentle, it doesn't hurt while she is taking the blood. The tube is filled by your heart beating. SO COOL! Then lots of pressure and I can't do anything with my wrist for the rest of the day..no leaning on it, no lifting, nothing. After the blood draw I am put into a round booth that has a seat in it and it has a clear door that can close around you. A weird, how to describe it, arm with a mouth piece and cords is in the booth with you. You put your mouth on the mouth piece and have pinchers put on your nose and the door is closed. That is a weird feeling trying to breath on this contraption with your nose pinched off. You can hear the lady talking to you from a mic...she puts you through a series of breathing, hold your breath, breath in as much as you can, blow out as much as you can, in out in out really fast. Now doing all this outside of the booth would be easy! But in the booth with this thing you have to blow into..WOW..not so easy. Then she has be take 4 puffs of an inhailer. Wait Wait Wait..ok, lets do some more breathing test! I come out of that thing so tired! Who would think breathing would make you so tired?! Well, after the appointment we pack back up and head back up to the job. It takes us 3 days to prep and lay tile in 3 bathrooms. I am once again in awe of my husband and what he can do. He does a fabulous job with tile. Who would think of how much time and energy even that goes into doing this job. I learned really fast how to screw down backer board and how to run a wet tile saw. Two bathrooms were upstairs so there was a ton of up and down. I am finding that stairs are one of my Nemesis. I am getting frustrated how I feel, just slowly waking up and down the stairs. It takes all my energy and it is hard to breath. I actually started noticing it at work this past year, every time I walked the stairs at work I would be really winded. It is hard since in my head I hear, "If you do it more it will become easier!" But it doesn't. It gets harder. This week for some reason it was REALLY hard. I am finding that my energy only last for a short time now before I have to rest. I am also finding that I have to take naps during the day. WHAT?!?!? Am I that old now? I have been doing a lot of research on the internet and I have found that cancer literally sucks the life out of you. I don't feel the cancer inside of me. It doesn't hurt. I don't even know that it is there other than the doctors have told me it is there. The only thing on the outside to remind me is I have a bad itch on my breast. Thus when my energy level is so low I get really frustrated. I know I can walk up and down stairs!!! I have been doing it my whole life! Why is it so hard? It is interesting how the mind can tell you one thing but the body will fight the mind and win. Another nemesis is heat. I used to love being warm. Summer is my time of the year. Not this year. I am too hot! I can't breath in warm air. Being outside in the warm SUCKS the energy out of me quickly also. I so do not want to see my power bill this month. We have had most of our days this month over *100. I have two doctor's appointments on Monday. I am hoping/scared that we will set a date for surgery. I know Heavenly Father wantes me to learn something from this experience. He needs me to grow and stretch. The growing and stretching is always hard.

July 15

Wow! Today was a long day. I had three appointments with three different groups. Genetics, surgeon, pulmonary. I am going to make this a really quick update and then come back and fill in better. Sorry..it may be confusing.. Genetics:Medi-Cal denied testing,(Why we don't know) but the doc is going to appeal..plus with info we found out in the next appointment, pretty sure it will go through but don't know how long it will take. Surgeon:Ok, hold on..don't freak out yet..the mass in my lungs is cancer. Not related to the breast cancer. It is called a Carcinoid and can show up anywhere in the body and where it landed is probably the best place it could land. It is in the middle lung airway. We thought it was on the outside of the air way but it is covering it. What is weird is that I can still breath fine and the lung is passing air fine. I will learn more about it later. Pulmonary: They said that this is SOOOO slow growing, it has been there for some time, probably years! It will not conflict with the breast cancer and they think I should go ahead with the breast first and then come back to this one. On Monday nights, all the heads of departments come together and have a big meeting going over all the important charts. Mine just happens to be one of the really important ones. They will have a big discussion about me and then tomorrow I will get a call telling me what they recommend my path of distruction/healing they recommend. Again it is a hurry and wait. I will have to update more later... I'M OK!!!!

July 8-12

For some reason the blog is wigging out and wont let me spell check or change fonts or anything so I am not sure if this will work..lets try! What a week this has been... July 8th: I was referred to the Women's Center to see what is going on with my lower half. I thought I was just going in for a consult to talk about how I am probably in perimenopause so I didn't take anyone with me. I love that it is a teaching clinic/hospital. There are so many people looking over all of your information. I had a student take all my history and information. She took her time and really went over everything. Then she stepped out and talked to the doctor in charge. The student and the doctor came back in and talked to me about what they wanted to do. They wanted to do a uterus biopsy. Would that be ok with me? Why not..go for it! The student was just there to observe this time..They both did not know what Paget's looked like so of course I flashed them. I don't think they were expecting that but now they will know how it may look on someone else. So I had the nurse, student and doctor all in looking at my lower half..we are very close now. They promised that if they saw me at the grocery store they would still make eye contact and say hello to me. To do a uterus biopsy they stick a long straw looking contraption up you and scrape the inside of the uterus. (Of course with all the contraptions holding you open)..Now the room is FREEZING, you have very little clothes on, you are trying to stay RELAXED so it will be easier to get the biopsy and would you not guess...you have the urge to pee. That was the hard part because after having 4 children..well, you know... The doctor took two biopsies since I was doing ok without her having to numb me..it REALLY hurt but I am learning not to jump or pull away when people are poking and proding me. I won't know the results till the 22nd. I was told to go home and take it easy for two days since I will be bleeding from the biopsy. BLAH! I hate to hold still! I held still for the rest of the day but then on Tuesday I went shopping for some hats and scarfs. I want to get them when I am still feeling good and Walmart has some good prices right now. After I went to lunch with two really good friends and laughted. It was so good to laugh. Yep, felt it that night! Yuck! July 11th: Lung Biopsy! I had to be at the hospital at 8, no food or drink since the night before, no makeup, no jewelry, comfy clothes. I didn't really know where in the hospital I was suppose to go so we went a little bit early. We found the place and were on time. (We, meaning my sweetheart and myself..)Jeff was my driving buddy since I probably wouldn't be able to drive myself home. They took me into a big room that had several beds in it with curtins seperating the beds. There were three other people in beds with nurses working on them. I had my own team, including a student. The student was REALLY nervous like HE was going in for the procedure or something..I got changed into a "gown" and hooked up with IV in my hand, thing on my finger and a cuff on my arm. The nurse took blood from my hand and then said she needed a urine sample. SERIOUS..with all the stuff on me..OK...I must say I was pretty good getting it! YEP! NOT PREGNENT! WHOOT WHOOT..(I could have told you that!) OK, 9:00 they wheeled me into another room. A small room. The drug man put some stuff in my hand IV hookup..he called it "You just don't care" juice. Man that stuff works fast! Next thing I know a deep voice is telling me to please cover my mouth when I cough. I didn't know I was coughing. I am SOOOO groggy. I kindof remember wanting something to drink. Then I was out again. Some how I have gotten my clothes back on. I know they put me in a wheelchair, but I don't remember the ride out. Then I am in my truck. NOPE, I am walking up the stairs to my room to get my jammies on. I climb in bed and remember Jeff coming in telling me one cup has water in it, the other has ice and a lid to keep the cat out of it. BOOM I am out again. I think somewhere around noon or one I woke up and made my way downstairs to the couch. I am so nauseous! I have a bit of a sore throat but not even close to what I thought I would have. My head hurts and it is all I can do to not throw up. This was an all day thing. I HATE THAT FEELING! I was able to drink some soda and some water and finally got some food in my tummy but it really didn't help. Around 7 I finally took the last of my headache pills. It helped! Jeff showed me the pictures from the procedure. WOW! So on the CT scan it showed the mass was on the outside of my airway, inside my lung. The pictures from the procedure shows the mass in my airway totally blocking my airway to my lower lobe. Now I have air getting in and out of that lobe so it doesn't make sense. The doctors are baffled! They took a little scraping from the mass but didn't want to rupture it. I should know more on Monday. I hope. Today I feel like a pinata! I hurt all over..my chest is fine..throat a little sore..BODY HURTS! My mom thinks I fell off the table..oops. I was coughing a lot yesterday and it felt good! Today when I cough my back hurts! It is really hard to cough. I am messed up! I went to see my chiropractor friend who adjust my back and neck. It helps but I still hurt. So Monday I have appointments starting at noon with one doctor and finishing up around 4 with others. I have an appointment set up for August 12 with the plastic surgeon which tells me my surgery won't be till the middle of August or later. I hope I am wrong. I don't look forward to hurting and going through all the YUCK, but I am anxious to start feeling better. I will update on Monday when I know more.

Broken Boob! (Also known as Paget's)

This is more for me to journal than to really share with anyone.  I am open to sharing what is happening and if someone else can be lifted from it, then I have helped more than myself...

This may be a bit TMI, so if queezy, don't read.  I am sharing TMI!!!!

Several years ago I had some sores under my arm, like a boil, that really hurt.  Then there were several of them.  Some of them actually came to the surface and opened up and lots of puss and blood came out.  It was very painful.  About the same time on the tip of my nipple, I had a crust.  An ITCHY crust.  And a little bit of a bloody milky discharge.  The itch was what was really bothersome.  The sores under my arm healed up but the itch on my nipple just would not go away.  I tried EVERYTHING over the counter thinking that this was just a yeast infection, or eczyma or something...if anything it started spreading.  The sores under my arm came back.   I went to my OBGYN..he put me on antibiotics and sent me to a breast specialist.  The breast specialist sent me for my first ever mammogram.  Boy, that was fun..(said on one ever!)  The specialist said she couldn't find anything wrong and said to keep an eye on it.  The antibiotics got rid of the sores under my arm for a few months, but not the itch.  I just lived with it!  The sores came and went, but the itch spread. A few years go by...
So we are now up to about February of this year:
 My cycle has really been a mess, I am itchy all over, I don't sleep, I am tired all the time, I don't feel good..AHHH..I am in perimenopause..says my OBGYN.  My thyroid panel comes back perfect.  My harmones are fine..I go to urgent care..more antibiotics and creams, but nothing gets rid of the itch.  Back to my OBGYN...here, take some estrogen cream..that should help...WRONG...

  My dear friend who just got her Masters in Nursing says, "Hey, your visiting teacher works at a womens clinic...CALL HER.." Now I hate pulling the VT card, but I was finally at my end. (Now how I feel about VT is a WHOLE nother story..that I will save for another time..) So I texted her.."Hey, my friend..Can I pull the VT card on you and ask for some help?"  She was more than willing to come to my home after a LONG day at the clinic, dealing with people all day..to come look at my owies. 
She took one look at my owies and said, "Hey, that is Paget's Disease!" Of course I have never heard of Paget's Disease.  She also did a swab of the gunk under my arm that has now spread to my breast and the other arm pit..Then said I needed to make this official and I needed to come into her office ASAP.
March: She got me into her office and the swab had come back..MRSA!  NO WAY!  My Dad and his sweet wife had been battling MRSA themselves, my Dad almost died from it!  So it is a family thing...crazy..
So she put me on antibiotics and sent me to have a mammogram/ultra sound done.
April:
Have my mammogram and ultrasound.  They don't find anything..That is good. But frustrating at the same time.
June:
 On the 3rd I had a biopsy done.  They did a punch biopsy right in the middle of a growing area and then gave me 3 stiches and told me to hold still for a few days..basically don't go back to work for the rest of the week. The stiches didn't bother me so much as the dressing to cover everything kept the heat in on my breast and made the itch on my breast explode!  I kept ice packs on it to keep it numb.  That helps a bit but I was sure happy to get the dressings off!
On the 12th I get a phone call from my friend..(Now refered to as "My ANGEL") she called to tell me it was indeed Paget's Disease.  HURAAY!  I am not crazy!  Now go have a MRI.
On the 12th I have my MRI done.
The 14th I have an appointment to get my stiches out, "you will now need to see a geneticist and a plastic surgeon..We will try to get you in ASAP", and a quick goodby from the doctor that was doing the testing..she is now off to a clinic back east...

Now I have had time to do my research on Paget's Disease.  It is cancer.  But if caugh early enough, 95% success rate. (Oh, and there are two types of Paget's Disease.  One is in the blood/bones and the other is of the breast.) Most of the time, but not always, there is a tumor that is inside the breast. I don't have a tumor. But I do have little offsets of cells..just a few..

 wait..wait..wait..They found more things on the MRI..you need a CT scan.
On the 19th do a CT scan..  wait..wait...wait...
22nd..phone call from my Angel..they found a mass on my lung..(mass meaning about 2cm) now need to go see a pulmonary specialist.  They need to do a biopsy of my lung to find out if it is related to the cancer.
So this puts off even seeing the geneticist..which pushes EVERYTHING back...
I am NOT good at waiting..plus the fact that I like a time line for things.  See the doctor on this day, test done on this day, results on this day, surgery this day, all better this day!

Now lets pause and talk about the emotional side of all this.  For several years now I have not felt good.  I have been frustrated and I push myself because I like to think I am not a lazy person.  I have felt that maybe I was doing something wrong..not getting enough sleep, not washing my bra's enough..wrong soap, wrong cream...To have someone say, "Yes, there is something wrong, and No, you didn't do anything wrong" is amazing.  FINALLY! Do I feel that everything that I am feeling is associated with the Paget's? Nope..I really think something else is wrong but I find that doctors only focus on one thing at a time.  Even though I know it is all related!    I know that people freak out when they hear the word "CANCER".  I have lost SEVERAL friends and family memebers to cancer.  IT is a UGLY thing.  But this is the FIRST time I have ever heard of Paget's and I am the only one I know that has it.  The more I educate myself, the better I feel.  The unknown is the hardest part of it all..how will it "FEEL", how will I "REACT" to everything, how "LONG" will it take?  I am SOOOO blessed to be married to an AMAZING man!  I KNOW he loves me.  Right there makes this so much easier to go through.  He is right there with me!  The best part is..he is NOT A BOOB MAN!  He is just fine with them being taken off! HA!  Breast are nowdays, an assessory!  Just like hair is an assessory.  Yes, I will loose my hair with chemo and radiation. (I won't have to shave my legs!!!) I am kindof interested to see how it will all grow back since most have a different color and texture when it comes back. I have had my hair short for years so to go a bit shorter (ok..a lot shorter) is not a big deal. Many girls at the school where I work have been shaving their heads to support St. Baldricks.  They are beautiful! 

June 27th..I see the geneticsist...Won't get results back for several weeks..What did I learn from that appointment..That once again I am a FREAK OF NATURE!  There is no rythme or reason for this cancer..I am that 1% for everything. Will the test come back with the precurser for Cancer..Don't know..Doesn't matter...I still have it!  Knowing if I have the precurser for Cancer will not change my decision on how to manage the Cancer. Please do not ready any anger into what I am saying.  There isn't any.
July 1st..I go in for a follow up visit to meet the surgeon and talk about a time line.  We are waiting on the genetic test.  The problem is that I am not sure if the test will be paid for, if not, then the test was done for nothing.
Then I go over and meet with the Pulmonary Specialist.  She shows us the MRI and CT of the spot they found on my lung.  It is in a weird place.  It also has calcification on it which says it has been there for awhile.  Now I am waiting for all the doctors to have a meeting tonight to decide how they want to proceed.  What a great idea!  I love the idea of all these doctors having a discussion about all the people they are taking care of and figure out the best plan of treatment.  It is like having 12 doctors all giving you a second opinion! I will know tomorrow if they decide to do a lung biopsy.  If they decide to do it then it will be the end of this week or the beginning of next week...Hurry and Wait!
July 2nd...I got the phone call..SOOO the mass they found (it is so small I don't know why they call it a mass) is in a weird place, just outside of the airways.  It is an almost perfect round ball shape with calcification on it.  It is in NO WAY connected to the BC (breast cancer) but everyone is very interested to know what it is.  If it is cancer in my lung then they do chemo before they do the mastectomy...which the doctors really do not think it is, but again are wondering what IT is... I am on the schedule for the biopsy on July 11th. BUT...I have an appointment on July 8th with the OBGYN department to see if ovaries are doing anything fun. WEEEE..its a bit funny how NOW they want to know what is going on with everything inside of me (but I STILL ITCH ON MY BOOB!)
So now we are all caught up with this side of my life.
I am finding it hard to keep up with all the texting and emails, I don't know who I have told what to and who I am missing.  I am going to post this so everyone can check here for updates.

This is a learning moment for all of us.  I am so THANKFUL for all the prayers and helping hands.  I am so blessed!